flippers y/n has the greatest impact on board length

kidrock · Post by **kidrock** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 5:59 pm

dude, that site is awesome!!! I'm gonna paraphrase from it:

"I think what annoys me about kneelos -- and perhaps what has begun to annoy me, ever so slightly, about the handwringing over "the flipper wars" -- is that they posit a way-too-fussy, sanctimonious attitude towards how one ought to kneeboard. Because when it comes to kneeboarding, are ultra-high-precision webbed gloves really so necessary, or even desirable? After all, kneeboarding originally came to life in the 50s and 60s on horrifically crappy "shoe" boards. Indeed, the "shoes" were so crude that kneeboarders had to mix Duck Feet and Churchills specifically to take account for the jurassic properties of the godawful kneeboards. (One of main reasons George Greenough invented the "Velo" was that it gave a relatively close feel when surfed on tube-primitive wave systems.)

In fact, I've come to believe that crappy technology -- lousy kneeboards, horrible flipper devices -- is a boon to kneeboarding. Because when you strip out the superhigh and superlow fin placements that send kneelos -- planted with geometric triangulation betwixt their $325,000 over-rockered exotic potato chips(pictured above!) -- into such supposedly quivering raptures, you're forced to reckon with a simpler question, which is: Is the kneeboard any good? A really terrific kneeboard can survive almost any goon cord mangling and still be delightful. A mediocre one can't. A mediocre kneeboard needs a doubleplusgood goon cord system to bring out its half-baked appeal; a truly excellent kneeboard is catchy even when played on a kazoo. For years, I have rode all of my kneeboards either via a) a pair of $25 Hot Buttered OctoMoms attached to my feet, or b) another style of flippers of dubious provenance, outfitted with goon cords that I buy, well, at whatever kook surf store I happen to be nearest when the old ones break down, and with whatever spare change I have in my pockets -- and I do not think my soul is any the worse for wear."

maxb · Post by **maxb** » Wed Nov 11, 2009 7:25 pm

Kid you said a mouthful,I'm not sure what it was,but it was a mouthful

Max

jdc · Post by **jdc** » Thu Nov 12, 2009 1:06 am

gloves and flippers are a bit like condoms

if ya want to be a champion, jigalo type then perhaps not the best look (for da ladies) but if your a regular punter its amazing how despite the hassle of putting them on you can still hit the lip, get tubed and come out the other side

RMcKnee · Post by **RMcKnee** » Thu Nov 12, 2009 1:25 am

kidrock wrote:And now, the Bonus Round!!!!!!! Name the author of this famous quote:

"How fortunate for governments that the people they administer don't think."

Cinch.
Schickelgruber.
Shame he was wrong though. It's mobs that don't think. People do.

You guys are so melodramatic.

womble · Post by **womble** » Thu Nov 12, 2009 2:03 am

RMcKnee wrote: Shame he was wrong though. It's mobs that don't think. People do.

So in staying on topic …

If the mob was wearing flippers ... could they and would they be able to think … and if so ... would they have a long or short attention span ... and ... if the people are and do ... is that the long and the short of it.

Now gloves are another conundrum all together.

RMcKnee · Post by **RMcKnee** » Thu Nov 12, 2009 2:28 am

Geez Womble, for an awful second there I thought you were gonna turn this into the long flippers vs short flippers thread ... shudder ...

As for gloves, no thanks. Knowing my solitary flipper habit and knowing how things turned out for MJ ... I figure best just not go there.

fooj · Post by **fooj** » Fri Nov 13, 2009 9:55 am

Yesterday I rode my 6'3" Blast F2K tuned for big surf with yellow dot V5 Vipers. The standups were riding boards with lengths of 6'2"(Sean Yano, complaining too small), 6'7" (?), 6'9" (Randall Paulson), 7'2" (Lionel Ha'ili), 8'6" (Mike Garrity). Of course they weren't the only ones out, but a decent sampling of the good riders. So at least yesterday it looks like flippers add from -1" to 2'3" to board length.

womble · Post by **womble** » Sat Nov 14, 2009 4:25 pm

Do flip flops add length to your stick
can swim fins make you paddle quick
in trying to understand the screaming horde
I glued some flippers to my board
lo and behold and glory be
the answer was in front of me
and as I measured the boards new length
a great thought process did commence
could this be the answer to all our woes
just adding rubber to our toes
it seemed far to simple an idea at first
but then from the clouds the sun did burst
a radiant light came shining through
yes Cappy ... I did think of you
but I won't go there ... lets not digress
we cannot falter from this quest
spread the news throughout the land
enlighten every woman and man
send the message from west to east
the simple flipper can bring world peace
so don that swim fin and get in the groove
for the duck men of salvation are on the move

ezak · Post by **ezak** » Sat Nov 14, 2009 7:28 pm

How the Grinch stole pot stirrers

maxb · Post by **maxb** » Sun Nov 15, 2009 8:57 am

Womble ,that is one very large pearl of wisdom

Max

skansand · Post by **skansand** » Sun Nov 15, 2009 1:23 pm

kidrock · Post by **kidrock** » Sun Nov 15, 2009 2:26 pm

skansand wrote:

Dude, that is awesome!!!!!!!

mebbe for more effect, the old skool green Churchill

maxb · Post by **maxb** » Sun Nov 15, 2009 4:01 pm

Ahhhhh!!!! Makapus : My favorite

max

skansand · Post by **skansand** » Sun Nov 15, 2009 5:03 pm

not my work , found it on a blog a while back....i tried making it my avatar but .....failed

RMcKnee · Post by **RMcKnee** » Mon Nov 16, 2009 4:08 am

kidrock wrote:
Dude, that is awesome!!!!!!!

Kid, I hope you're not being flippant ...

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flippers y/n has the greatest impact on board length

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