...Sense of humor russ...Thats a good thing.wolruss wrote:K-man you must be sitting on the oil heater.
Why don't we change the post,call it the wining thread Some of you folks...grow some skin!.....
Moderator: Moderator
1. In the first paragraph: The writer sets the scene- slightly amusing, we all know Obi Wan never existed and that he and his powers were fictional. We can all relate to this scenario, sitting by ourselves when someone else decides to help "share our waves".As some of you know, California has had a nice little run of surf lately. Nothing huge, but consistent swell from both hemispheres coupled with warm conditions—super fun stuff. It was about three days into this wave barrage when it happened. Sitting on my own private peak down from the main crowd, I looked towards the beach and watched as a bodyboarder paddled from shore straight for me. I tried to Obi Wan him down the beach, but he somehow he remained impervious to my silent mind control, kept his line, and kicked his little rubber fins in my exact direction. Damn it.
2) In this second paragraph he insults bodyboarders. He insults them in an over the top manner. He has not given us an opinion eiether way on the kneelo.As he got closer, though, I noticed something. This guy wasn’t a sponger…he was a kneeboarder. Holy sh*it.
3) IN the above paragraph he appears to insult the kneelo by calling him a 'half an". Or does he? Is he in truth using a term of affection?
My peak protectionism status went from full alert to at-ease. Suddenly I was excited to share this little corner with half a man.
4) He expains that yes, "half man" is a term of nostaligia.Those old enough will understand the “half man” nostalgia. Like the dinosaurs, kneeboarders have pretty much disappeared from the face of the earth, and to see a live one is like excavating a fossil. And never, not in a million years, did think I would ever be this happy to see one again.
5) More humour - see the last sentence.To understand this surprising endearment, let me take you back. Back to an era when longboarders hated shortboarders and shortboarders hated kneeboarders and kneeboarders hated bodysurfers.
Back to a time of peace and love.
6) If you were round in the seventies, then you will know this was true. If you weren't around then you aren't to know either way ..... You can take this last senetnce as an insult if you choose, that is until you read the next paragraph.In the 70s, lineups the world over were populated with kneeboarders, and nowhere was this more true than La Jolla, California. When I moved to the area in 1979, kneeboarders ruled the La Jolla slabs and were some of the best surfers at Black’s Beach.
And like mosquitoes, they were bothersome as hell.
7) Above paragraph explains why "they were as bothersome as hell". Answer : "Because they were real good... etc" More humour in the last line of this paragraph (It sucked). It's a common technique to elicit a laugh by giving a complement on the one hand, and taking it away in the next (works with women - try it)
Truthfully, La Jolla kneeboarders were pesky because they were really good. Like four-legged creatures on land, they could move faster and more tirelessly than you. They could make steeper drops, and fit into the tube more efficiently. This was especially true at Black’s, where they could chase down a canyon peak, fit earlier into the almond-shaped barrel, and then just sit in the tube until the cows came home.
It sucked.
above paragraph, more humour, uses same technique of the giving a complement and then taking it away (sadly, started liking them). More complements follow "smart", "non conformist" "geek genius" etc. In my personal experience this is true. Think spoon, think Peter Berry, think guys who ride with huge concaves, guys who make night surfing helmets.As time went by, though, I got to know some of these guys and sadly, started liking them. Most of them were smart, and, almost without exception, were…well…let’s call it…quirky. I don’t know what it was, but for some reason kneeboarding had an uncanny knack for attracting eccentric, non-conformist personality types. Nut jobs and geek geniuses. Bow tie wearers.
9) Above paragraph contains the first derogatory insult by likening us to Kaczynski, who Wiki describes as a social anarchist and Neo Ludite, but also as a murderer. I think the journalist is refferring to the fact that Kaczynski was accepted into harvard at 16 - and so trying to be amusing but has fucked up. Orville Redenbacher? It seems he invented popping corn. Whoopydoo.
Put it this way: if Ted Kaczynski or Orville Redenbacher rode waves, I’m pretty sure they’d be kneeboarders.
10) Above paragraph. A true statement. Kneelos did vanish relatively speaking. Humour in the last sentence.Then, right when I started liking these guys, they started disappearing. Some of them turned to stand-up surfing, some quit, but some of them turned to the darkest side of all—they became boogie boarders.
11)) Above paragraph. Something killed kneeboarding (that is: it is less popular than it was in the 70's) The journalist states that "the boogie board ultimately killed kneeboarding. If you consider that "By the late 1970s, tens of thousands of bodyboards were made and sold in the United States each year...." then you might make the connection the same as the journalist did.I think it’s pretty clear that the boogie board ultimately killed kneeboarding. When “esky lids” hit the scene, those quirky youth that might have become half men turned to sponging.
And nothing, absolutely nothing, can make you miss kneeboarders more than a pack of boogers kicking straight for you.
12) Above paragraph. The line basically says "Remember the half men... with fondness. The journalist has gone to the trouble to research some famous names i n kneeboarding. Nothing insulting in this. He has not remarked that they are dead. The i nference is that they do not have the high profiles they once had.So I’d like you all to take a moment of silence and remember the half men. Think of guys like Bill Lerner, Rex Huffman, George Greenough, Peter Crawford, Tom Litton, Bob Gove, Grant Brittain, Ron Romanosky, Dave Markeby, Dale Kobetich, Wooly the Wandering Aussie, and ‘Blacks’ Jack with fondness.
13) Final paragraph. The journalist t ies up the article nicely, ending on a humerous note, and impossible wish for a "perfect world". The only people he insults are boogie boarders. Once more in an over the top manner that indicates an attempt at humour.
In fact, in solidarity, get on your knees and pray for the universal dream. Assume a kneeboard stance, and ask a higher power for a more perfect world—a world without boogie boarders.
heh, CaptKneemo don't blame you for falling asleep!CaptKneemo wrote:wax. fell asleep right after 6 months of....in the united states of america, prior to the late 70's critical thinking didnt need to be taught, it was just the way it was/is.
i'm sure everything else you typed was.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Too true.Gilley's job is to fill space. He did his job....with a proven Sufferer Magazine formula.